


I Don’t Understand These References

by CeliPuff, Winchesterlovr0508



Series: Bunker Diaries [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel’s Journal, Covid-19 Related, Crack, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel Has a Crush on Sam Winchester, Gabriel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Gabriel is a Little Shit, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), POV Castiel (Supernatural), Quarantine, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:22:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23481661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeliPuff/pseuds/CeliPuff, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchesterlovr0508/pseuds/Winchesterlovr0508
Summary: Dean says the president extended the quarantine so Sam suggested I make a journal. I suspect it’s a ploy to keep my hands off his brother but being extremely old, I’m entitled to do what I want. And I happen to have eons of experience in multitasking.I prayed to Gabriel to run some interference. I believe this is a foolproof plan.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Series: Bunker Diaries [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1689235
Comments: 32
Kudos: 132
Collections: Lock Down Fest





	I Don’t Understand These References

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, this isn’t beta’d and just for fun, enjoy 😊

**Day One:**

Sam seems upset with me. Ever since Gabe appeared and yelled, “Happy Tuesday Samsquatch!” Sam has been in the library. That’s pretty common. What’s not common is he’s started using books for target practice and mumbling something about “mystery spot” and “Heat in the Moment”. I’m very confused. Maybe after all his years of hunting he’s developed some strange form of PTSD. I’ll inquire more later. Dean says it’s pie time. I think that’s code for intercourse. 

**Day Two:**

Sam is determined to ignore Gabriel. Earlier today he was reading a book and my brother took it upon himself to dress up like a high school cheerleader and spell out “Moose” while shaking bright red things called _pom poms_. This is why bees are far superior species to humans. 

~~~~~~~~~

Gabriel decided to start hiding toy moose all over Sam’s room. He wants to see how long it will take him to notice and I find myself curious as well. I will not interfere with this plan.

**1 a.m:**

Dean does not like getting pranked. Gabriel didn’t get that memo it turns out. I woke to Dean screaming and chasing Gabe through the bunker while his hair was dyed pink and somehow in pigtails. I have a question though… What is this _Twitter_ that my brother uploaded Dean’s photo to? Also, why did Gabriel say he finally had handle bars for his private time with me? I’m confused.

**Day Three (Early Morning):**

Gabriel has resorted to invading Sam’s personal space. We were all woken up _again_ at 5 am. This time it was to Sam’s screams. Dean charged into the room with his hot dog pajamas and his favorite samurai sword to find Gabe straddled on the bed in gold sequin assless chaps holding a Canadian flag saying he was, and I quote, “Ready to save a cowboy and ride a moose.”

Some things are better left unseen. 

**Lunch Time**

Chuck help us all. Gabriel committed the worst crime you can in Dean’s eyes. He painted the Impala. To match Fred’s _Mystery Machine_ from Scooby Doo. Fred is still a sore subject to Dean and we’re not allowed to speak his name. I wonder if I can convince him to wear that ascot again. I’ve done some research online and I think it could be quite enjoyable. Besides, if he asphyxiates I can heal him right?

I’ve gotten off topic. This mortal vessel responds very well to sexual stimulation. Is this how humans feel all the time?

**Day Four:**

We finally watched a movie today. A full movie. I think it has everything to do with Sam exclaiming “For fucks sake!” and storming out of the room which made Gabriel watch us instead of the movie.

Blame Dean. We only got ten minutes into what Gabe calls “Netflix and Chill” before Dean was groping my nether regions and telling me to whip it out. The man is insatiable now that we have started this intercourse chapter of our relationship.

**Day Five:**

My brother has gone too far with his shenanigans. Dean and I have been up all night because this _abomination_ of an angel decided to put ghost chili powder in the lube. In case any humans ever read this, it was Gabriel who sent the Great Flood, not my father. I must go, it’s beginning to burn again. 

**9 pm:**

The burning has finally stopped and Dean has stopped cursing and crying wherever he goes to the bathroom. I’m not sure what healing properties whiskey has but Dean said that either the burning will stop or we’ll stop caring about the burning. He was correct. 

In other news, Gabriel has decided to initiate a full frontal assault to win Sam’s affections. He’s sitting on top on his shoulders, eating rocky road ice cream, refusing to get down. Sam is too stubborn to tell him to get off so instead he stands on his tip toes in doorways trying to hit Gabriel in the head. It hasn’t worked so far and this is mildly amusing. Every so often, Gabe will randomly feed Sam a spoonful of ice cream. Dean is laughing and giving Gabriel high fives whenever they pass. We’re taking bets on who will give in first. My money is on Sam but only because Dean picked Gabriel first. I have a feeling Dean will be paying me back for that one time I thrust too hard. I’m very glad my vessel, Jimmy, won’t be able to feel my punishment. 

The stuffed moose in Sam’s room has grown larger. It’s now roughly the size of a large dog. I really hope Gabriel doesn’t bring an _actual_ moose into the bunker. 

**Update:**

I went to investigate, there are multiple moose toys and stuffed animals in his room and one is on his pillow, I think it is safe to say he doesn’t mind so far, but one moose continues to grow and I imagine he will complain soon. More to come on the moose situation.

**Day Six:**

Holy hell! Cas won’t write this so I’m gonna. It’s Dean if you haven’t figured it out. 

Gabriel threw an epic tantrum and gave Sammy _antlers_ ! Now he’s stuck in the kitchen because his new fashion accessories won’t fit through the doorway. It’s been an hour and I can’t stop laughing! I’m _totally_ uploading this to Facebook. 

**Update:**

Sam finally cracked and spoke. Still Dean here btw. I never want to forget this moment. Anyways, Sam finally agreed to talk to Gabe when he made him grow boobs! Like… real life _lady boobs_! This is the best day of my life! Time to pay up Cas!

~~~~~~~~

It seems Dean got a hold of my journal, apologizes. Also, I still have your underwear, Dean.

~~~~~~~~~~

Can it Cas, I still have your virginity. 

  * Dean Fucking Winchester



**Day Seven:**

Today, Gabriel convinced Sam to eat candy. We all gathered around to watch, aside from the obvious reasons watching a moose eat would be entertaining, it was also a deal we all had to witness. Sam would try something called pop rocks and Gabe would eat a salad. 

Sam held up his end of the deal and we learned that although pop rocks sound like tiny explosions in a mouth, they don’t in fact hurt anything. Gabe on the other hand did not hold up his end, he shoved the salad away and snapped, disappearing to Chuck knows where. 

**Later:**

Dean got a hold of the pop rocks and would like to use them in bed, update to come.

**After:**

I do not recommend this form of foreplay. 

**Day Eight:**

Gabriel is back. He keeps asking Sam if he’ll give him a dose of “high fructose porn syrup”. Sam’s blushing, Dean’s laughing, and I’m confused. Can somebody explain this to me? I’m sure google will be helpful. 

Google was NOT helpful, although some new pizza man videos got Dean to agree on playing dress up. Update to come.

**Pizza Man Update:**

I used my grace to make my semen taste like pizza sauce. Dean was not amused. I thought he would enjoy it but now he says no more dress up. 

**Day Nine:**

Dean and I had an argument this morning. He is drinking copious amounts of coffee because he’s run out of beer. I mentioned it. He says coffee cures depression and I disagreed. He stormed out of the room screaming, “More espresso, less depresso!” 

We’re also almost out of coffee. I know I’m an angel and he’s just a human but… help. 

**Day Ten:**

Dean forgave me last night. I suddenly understand the appeal for make up sex. I didn’t know what that was but Gabriel told me about it and when I asked Dean if he’d like to have some he was thrilled. I also managed to find more coffee using the little bit of grace I have left and Dean is very pleased. He’s currently singing _Livin’ On a Prayer_ into the spatula. While he cooks bacon. Naked.

Sam was not amused. 

Gabriel was.

**Day Eleven:**

It seems as though Sam may have finally found some peace. Dean and Gabriel found an app called TikTok and have been scheming on how to make themselves famous while locked inside. I’m optimistic but still skeptical. You never know what to expect with these two when they start talking about a box challenge. 

**Day Thirteen:**

I now see why people are always staring at their phone. It’s been 48 hours and Dean has now sucked me into the world of social media. Sam and Gabriel found something called fan fiction and are arguing over “Drarry” and “Dramione”. Also, can someone tell me what a “Wolfstar” is? Because they’ve both agreed that Dean and I are that.

I thoroughly enjoy Destiel. 

**Day Fourteen:**

Last day of quarantine. Gabriel woke everyone up to Heat of the moment.

I’ve never seen Sam move so fast.

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned for Dean’s... 😬


End file.
